You Don’t Have to Carry it Alone

After announcing the launch of my business, I was completely surprised and humbled by how many other people in my sphere also have children with special needs. Lots of parents have children that struggle - that part is not surprising. I had no idea.

But so many of us carry it alone or in the shadows. I did. Very few people in my network knew that my younger son had challenges.

Why do we do that?

I’m not a psychologist so I can only speak from experience. There are an unknown number of reasons people will carry the burden of parenting a child with special needs alone or in the shadows.

Here are a few:

• Fear of judgement

• Fear of being treated differently

• Wanting to be viewed as a “normal” parent

• Fear of our child being labeled

• Not wanting every single aspect of our life ruled by a diagnosis that does NOT correlate to our love for our children

• …the list could go on

Parents of children with learning disabilities, medical challenges, cognitive differences, developmental delays, etc. live with anxiety of a call from the school or daycare, a rude comment from someone in public, their kid having an episode, a doctor’s flippant remark, etc. (This list could go on as well).

This is my public service announcement for the world: You do not know what silent battles people are fighting. Please consider offering kindness and grace when interacting with people because the stressed-out person you work with may be fighting battles you have no idea about.

This is my public service announcement for the stressed-out parent of a child with challenges: Seek help. I’m not here to advocate that you should make different decisions about sharing life’s challenges with the world. On the other hand, it is a heavy burden to manage all of the moving parts in a silo.

Every time I talk to someone about my current career as an Educational Advocate and Life Coach, I always express that I want to be the person I needed all those years ago when I was in the trenches of parenting a child that didn’t fit the mold. I wish that I had reached out for more help. (see the list above…)

I can be the person you work with, the pressure relief valve, when life hands you yet another unexpected situation. I cannot solve your challenges, but I can help you (1) not feel alone, (2) develop a path that feels aligned with your goals (3) feel more grounded in the decisions that you make - even when all of the options suck, and (4) realize joy in the daily life that we live.

You are strong enough for this life, but it shouldn’t be any harder than necessary. It would be my honor to provide resources the support your life and your child’s growth.

For all the parents out there carrying the weight of the world and often doing so in silence. I’m proud of you but you don’t have to do this alone.

Sending you love and support. —Amanda